What Is a Teachable Moment?

Let’s begin with what a teachable moment is not. It is not what a lot of people think it is. This is one of those phrases (like the widely abused “passive-aggressive”) that has been co-opted by folks who say things they think make them sound smart, when actually the opposite is the case.

Here is a bad example, from a recent news story. A popular hoax perpetrated on elderly people, and also upon busy and distracted adults of all ages, is the phone call that claims to be from some governmental entity like the IRS, Social Security, or the local police department. The criminal on the other end of the line wants sensitive information, and if it is not forthcoming, will resort to threatening the call recipient with immediate arrest, for anything from drug trafficking to money laundering.

Taking advantage

When a police captain in North Carolina received one of these calls — at work, no less! — she strung the caller along, pretending genuine concern about the multiple charges the scammer claimed could be filed against her. Meanwhile, she recorded the call to post on social media. The video clip was also picked up by various TV shows and used as an educational demonstration, with the hope of warning vulnerable seniors against providing any personal information over the phone.

It was a good idea that captured wide attention, and maybe even prevented some crime. The only problem is, the police captain is widely quoted as having decided to use this opportunity as a “teachable moment,” amounting to a total misuse of the term. It was a fortuitous incident that a quick-thinking officer took advantage of to issue a useful caveat that probably saved some good people from anxiety and fear. But to call it a “teachable moment” is a grotesque misnomer.

More Halloween aftermath

News archives contain an article titled “Parents can use Halloween as a teachable moment,” which implies a certain degree of, if not coercion, at least an incorrect interpretation of the concept. Writer Lizzie Hedrick quotes psychology professor Donna Spruijt-Metz, whose mother would sit with her to sort the trick-or-treat bounty:

We had a joke about how she loved the mini-Hershey bars, so she would negotiate with me for them. She would bargain with me and always say that she wanted to keep those chocolates for herself… [I]t turned into a conversation in which she made me think about what I really liked and what I liked less — and then convinced me to give up the ones I didn’t truly enjoy.

Maybe it was a valuable lesson about weighing priorities. Maybe it was just that the little girl felt queasy from eating too much candy, so her emotions were easy to manipulate — which is not quite the same thing. Hyperactive children tend to have “teachable moments” when they are sick, simply because feeling ill drains off some of their bouncing-off-the-walls energy and they sit still for once.

Closer to the true meaning of the phrase is the title of a piece by Deb Porcarelli of the AIMS Center for Math and Science Education. In “You Never Know When,” she wrote:

A teachable moment can be thought of as a quick moment in time when a student’s interest in a specific subject is at its highest, usually because of a conversation or immersion in a situation that brings on curiosity.

Many adults want “teachable moment” to mean, “There is an idea I want to put across, and I’ve decided that now is the time to do it.” But that is not what it means. A teachable moment spontaneously arises from within the child, manifesting as a mood that is open, receptive, approachable, malleable, curious, ready.

A sensitive teacher or parent will be alert for such unexpected intervals, and make judicious use of them. A teachable moment cannot be decreed or created, it has to be caught in the wild by a grownup who is attentive and prepared, and (this is crucial) who also is willing to recognize when the moment is over.

Your responses and feedback are welcome!

Source: “Police captain turns the tables on a scammer claiming to be a cop,” ConsumerAffairs.com, 08/30/19
Source: “Parents can use Halloween as a teachable moment,” USC.edu, 10/30/15
Source: “You Never Know When,” AIMSEdu.org, 09/14/17
Photo credit: Giuseppe Milo (www.pixael.com) on Visualhunt/CC BY

Halloween Hangover

Leading up to Halloween, Childhood Obesity News devoted some energy to reviewing better ways to “do” the holiday. The desired condition is to have more fun than could ever previously have been imagined, with the minimum amount of candy.

Why are so many people against Halloween candy? Because childhood obesity is an epidemic with a huge financial cost and, more importantly, one that takes a huge toll in human misery.

For responsible adults, part of the misery is the dilemma of figuring out what to do about the trick-or-treat loot, both before the holiday and once it’s over. Aside from keeping and devouring it all, the various aftermath scenarios can chiefly be summed up as confiscate, donate, and eliminate.

Journalist Stephen Matthews noted that from the Halloween collection haul, a typical child consumes more than 3,000 extra calories, none of them nutritious. The average parent, to his or her secret shame, absorbs nearly 2,000 extra calories in a courageous gesture ostensibly intended to save the children from the dangerous substances.

Other writers find other comparisons. For instance, a trick-or-treater winds up with around three cups of sugar, the equivalent of about 200 of those little restaurant-size packets. Not counting costumes, decorations, etc., this year American consumers spent about 2.6 billion on candy alone. That’s up from an estimated $2.1 billion only four short years ago.

Confiscate

We have extensively discussed the various tactics and justifications that parents employ at Halloween in aid of outright seizure of the trick-or-treat proceeds. Some methods are sneaky while others involve open and often extensive and complicated negotiations.

One mother describes her solution:

So it’s free candy at work for anybody who wants it. We’ll pick out what we want and then I’ll give the rest away at work.

Donate

Other donation recipients may include homeless shelters, food pantries, senior centers, nursing homes, hospices, veterans’ organizations, and the overseas troops. Parents, doctors, and dentists may offer to swap other prizes for candy, which is then given away. Writer Julie Gunlock remarks, with tongue in cheek,

[M]aybe I should participate in my local dentist’s candy confiscation program: “C’mon kids; you get this snazzy toothbrush when you bring in your evil, cavity-causing candy!”

If giving it away is too big a sacrifice, Marilisa Sachteleben suggests freezing leftover Halloween candy for later use, like baking cupcakes with interior surprises. She also suggests using it to decorate birthday cakes, put in Christmas stockings, and include in Easter baskets — ideas which may or may not be considered acceptable by family members.

Eliminate

Dr. David Ludwig pronounces on the morality of simply disposing of the Halloween haul:

Yes, it’s important to respect food, and not be wasteful, especially when some people don’t have enough to eat. But typical Halloween candy isn’t food, it’s junk.

After your child has had one or two candies from their Trick-or-Treat booty, throw out the rest (don’t give it away and foist the problem on other kids). Use the occasion as an opportunity to teach your kids a critical message: health comes first.

Remember, the purchase price of those candies pales in comparison to the economic and human toll of diet-related disease!

Your responses and feedback are welcome!

Source: “Trick or treat? Children will consume more than 3000 calories just from Halloween sweets this year,” Daily Mail.co.uk, 10/29/16
Source: “How much candy are you buying for Halloween?,” USAToday.com, 10/05/19
Source: “Dietitians provides tips to parents to help control Halloween candy craze,” Fox59.com, 10/31/16
Source: “Don’t be afraid to let your kids gorge on Halloween sweets,” NYPost.com, 10/30/15
Source: “Halloween candy leftovers use-up recipes, ways to reuse stale candy from Trick-or-Treat,” BlastingNews.com, 11/01/16
Source: “Counterpoint: It’s Not Just OK To Throw Out Halloween Candy, It’s Smart,” WBUR.org, 11/02/16
Photo credit (left to right): abbamouse, Han Zuyderwijk, on Visualhunt/CC BY-SA

Parents and Liberation From Old Attitudes

Some things are simple, although maybe not easy. Childhood Obesity News has been talking about the magical and 100% free commodity known as attitude adjustment. Nothing could be simpler — you just flick a switch inside your head, and view a thing from a different perspective. Simple as it may be, of course attitude adjustment is not always easy. But it is guaranteed easier than dealing with the problems that can arise from old useless attitudes.

Plenty of parents have degrees in all kinds of impressive subjects — but it doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvement. All grownups have their own stories, of parenting that was good, bad, or indifferent; and from our own experience we have learned some truths, or at least formed some impressions. One thing we might do well to adjust is our belief that we know everything. Or even anything.

Lips can remain zipped

It isn’t even always necessary to make a self-judgment on whether one’s opinion is right or wrong. We don’t have to figure it out right now. All we have to do, really, is avoid saying it out loud. That’s right — there is no universal, immutable rule stating that we must say everything we think. Here is a hypothetical example, encompassing one of the most important pieces of advice a parent can ever hear: shut up.

Imagine you’ve tried for two years to convince the kid to eat leafy green vegetables, to the point where you’ve exhausted all strategies and all patience. Then one day, she or he comes home from somewhere and says, “How come we never have leafy green vegetables? That’s supposed to be the most important thing to eat.”

Please, please restrain yourself from saying one single word. Just be happy that the words of some teacher, or friend, or online video, have penetrated the earholes of your child in a way you never were able to. Also, when confronted by the sight of your kid self-righteously eating something you’ve TOLD them and TOLD them about, you must not waver. No scolding, no mockery, no gloating, no “I told you so.” Just clam up and take one for the team.

Negotiate policy

Even parents who like to think of themselves as free spirits can benefit from drawing up some policies. First, the disclaimer. It would be much, much better for everyone if nobody ever ate fast food. Dr. Pretlow will tell you that in a minute, and so will anyone else with a head on their shoulders. But if things are really a mess, accepting fast food might be a step worth making, toward a better future. Boundaries can be temporary answers.

Like, limit fast food to once a week. Avoid, for the present, the draconian decrees that start with “Never.” Reach agreement on the definition of terms. For instance, the week starts at 5 a.m. on Sunday morning. The lone fast food break can be any time within the week. Once is better than three or four times. If there is more than one child, they take turns choosing which den of iniquity will be visited.

The point of setting up rules and conditions beforehand is to limit the amount of pointless discussion about it. Less discussion equals less friction, and less friction equals less stress, and the reduction of stress means there is less inducement for anyone to emotionally overeat.

Again, once-a-week fast food is not recommended, and certainly not ideal. But it may be preferable to the current situation. We live in a world where all elements will not always cooperate to achieve our wishes. But we can do something, which is better than nothing.

The other point is to gain practice in negotiating conditions with all family members having a voice. It is a demonstration that everything does not have to be based on top-down decrees. The experience of realizing there is a problem, and figuring it out together, is worth gold.

Your responses and feedback are welcome!

Photo credit: Jeramey Jannene on Visualhunt/CC BY