Lest we forget, the point of pursuing the very large and awkward topic of stigma is to remind ourselves of the many varieties of unhappiness (or in many cases, of misery) that await our children, out there in the world. It is partly a form of negative reinforcement, more politely known as motivation.
Spokespersons from various faiths and philosophies have popularized some variation of the saying, “Give me the child for the first seven years…” because this is when the future adult will be formed. In the modern world, we parents don’t even have that long to exert our exclusive influence. And kids soon enough discover (even if they do not articulate it in words) the concept of “You’re not the boss of me.”
If only all the mothers and fathers of new babies could fully grasp, and genuinely appreciate, the fantastic opportunity and ability we have to create the future, what a bright world this would be.
Seize the day
Regrettably, soon, children are out in the world, subject to all kinds of food (and “food”) from innumerable sources. Once the teen years have arrived, we can pretty much forget about exerting a lot of effective influence on them.
The most meaningful influence that parents can exert is reserved for that very brief period when we are the only bosses. The earlier we start thinking in terms of obesity avoidance, the better.
We are familiar with the various other physical conditions that can affect an obese person, and yes, we are talking about your children who may at this very moment be developing bad habits that could affect their health and happiness for decades. Sleep apnea, hypertension, osteoarthritis, heart disease, stroke, and Type 2 diabetes are some of the most common ailments to accompany obesity. Somewhat less likely but still recognizable hazards include disorders of the liver, gallbladder, and kidneys, along with asthma, metabolic syndrome, depression, and some types of cancer.
A cartoon moment
Suppose that a menacing and evil winged troll might fly through the window and proceed to curse our new baby — something like, “You will grow up to suffer from at least three painful, inconvenient and expensive diseases, and also to be scorned, laughed at, excluded, disrespected, mocked….” Without waiting to hear even one more word, wouldn’t we grab the nearest large heavy object, and bat the intruder right back out into the landscape?
But the sad truth is, by failing to pay attention, we ourselves as parents and guardians fail all too often to protect our little ones from an unpleasant fate.
Not the happiest of lives
The stigmatized person learns and incorporates the standpoint of the normal, acquiring thereby the identity beliefs of the wider society and a general idea of what it would be like to possess a particular stigma. Another phase is that through which he learns that he possesses a particular stigma and, this time in detail, the consequence of possessing it.
In the case of any condition commonly recognized and/or treated like a stigma, Goffman says the individual involved goes through a learning experience about how the world regards their condition, and makes changes or adjustments in how they perceive themselves.
Someone with an inborn, congenital stigma, like a missing pair of limbs, will of course embark on this learning experience at a very early stage. The domestic situation, including family members and their place in the prevalent class structure, may provide shelter for a while, but rarely can that safety remain effective for long. Sooner or later, the child will be exposed to the scrutiny of strangers, an experience that can vary from strange and unfamiliar to intensely traumatic.
Goffman wrote,
Public school entrance is often reported as the occasion of stigma learning, the experience sometimes coming very precipitously on the first day of school, with taunts, teasing, ostracism, and fights.
Or, a child with an obvious handicap might be sequestered in a specialized environment with others who are afflicted with disability, and for that concept, there have always been strong convictions on either side. Both academic learning and general socialization might go more smoothly in a special school, but the children might fare worse when released into the larger world where, as Goffman pointed out, “the onset of dating or job-getting will often introduce the moment of truth.”
At any rate, it is unlikely that an obese child would be schooled only with those who are similarly afflicted, so the likelihood of an early introduction to stigma and its consequences is quite high. Whatever age they are at when the weight starts piling on, it will be long before the seeking of either love or employment is part of the picture.
Your responses and feedback are welcome!
Source: “Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity,” WordPress.com, 1963
Image by uncleSR/Pixabay
FAQs and Media Requests: 
