It is worth mentioning here that many people, even in the healing professions, tend to discount emotional pain, as if it were a mere inconvenience or even a whim that someone can simply choose to shrug off. There seems to be a “Just say no to emotional pain” school of thought that tends not to work out well in everyday life. Really, the only people who “get” how crippling emotional pain can be are those whose lives are impoverished by it.
This might be why some practitioners obviously see great value in a basic Internal Family Systems concept, which is:
[D]isordered eating behaviors are not the problem themselves but rather attempts by protective parts to manage deeper emotional pain.
The internal beings called “parts” are also sometimes known as sub-personalities, thoughts, ideas, internal dialogue, feelings, sensations, symptoms, behaviors, defense mechanisms, maladaptive coping strategies, or even spirits.
The crowd
Among the inner multitude, one category of respondent, known as a “manager,” wants to protect the host and might be interested in setting up some rules. Also, those might be counterproductive rules that will wind up creating even more pain in the end. A manager sees a problem and proposes a solution, and strives to make something happen, even if it isn’t the optimal thing. Still, the managerial parts probably tend to have more common sense than those even more proactive parts that leap into the fray — known as “firefighters.”
Firefighters operate under a different set of criteria. They suit up, grab high-pressure hoses, mount ladders, and rush in to try and save the day. Their mission is to stop the immediate threat of psychic violence and destruction, even if it entails physical violence and destruction. Their priority is to end the inner pain, right now. The impulsive firefighters can be like enthusiastic amateurs who mean well, but do a sloppy job. If the only way forward is to tear down the museum-quality ancestral drapes to smother the fire with, a reactive guardian will do it.
Or that over-amped protector might pull some stunt like a spending spree, an unwise date, self-harm, violence, or even suicide. More likely, to terminate the current discomfort, this misguided volunteer might send the person on an eating binge. Sure, that is a variety of self-harm, but it smothers the present, in-your-face pain.
Thanks a lot
A binge is harmful enough, but there are, in fact, other shades and nuances of damage that must be written off as the inevitable consequence of avoiding immediate pain. Conversely, but for the same purpose of escaping today’s pain, tomorrow’s opportunity to heal might be put at risk by purging. If things continue badly, the firefighter’s next suggestion might be to exercise compulsively, or to try some nice numbing opiate.
Of course, all of this activity, however misguided or futile, takes place to protect the Exiles, the “parts” who are like ossified copies of the person at crucial stages when shattering life events took place. They broke off and live like hungry ghosts, unable to reconcile the horrible experiences they went through with a desire to keep on living, and yet unable to give up life as long as the tough old meat body is still hanging in there.
So, why not punish that animated corpse in some way, like the way that is so easily available in almost every society on Earth these days — by piling on the bulk until life becomes undesirable, and is sustainable only at a very high cost in daily pain?
Your responses and feedback are welcome!
Source: “Internal Family Systems and Eating Disorders: A Compassionate Approach to Recovery,” BalancedAwakening.com, undated
Source: “The IFS Model With Eating Disorders: ED is Just a Part of You,” EatingDisorderHope.com, undated
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